Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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