Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize