i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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