i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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