had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
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Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
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The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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