I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
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I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
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He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize