Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize