i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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