Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
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She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
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Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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