here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
All I want is dick and wine.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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