weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize