You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize