Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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