Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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