so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
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i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
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Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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