Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
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You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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