I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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