The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
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after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
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I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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