I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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