What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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