still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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