any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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