youre lurking in front of me
I need help removing her.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize