it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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