I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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