cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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