Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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