google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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