yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
