I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize