He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize