Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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