I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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