We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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