I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
party gras won. party gras always wins.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize