Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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