Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
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You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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