Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
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We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
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Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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