You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize