I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize