My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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