Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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