she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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