I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
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I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
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You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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