I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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