my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize