his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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