Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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