Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize