Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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